PMS
by here-not-there
Summary: We all know it's just an excuse for men when it comes to proving their masculinity." "Why didn't you just say Liv was PMS-ing?" How does Elliot deal with Olivia's PMS?


**Remember the case when the defendant used PMS as a psych defense? This is a short piece inspired by it. It's been playing in my head for a long while now but with school (and my laziness, I apologize) going on, I haven't been able to coax it out on paper until now. Monday's suck with back to school/work so I hope this will cheer you guys up a bit! :D**

**'nuff with my rambling, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: the characters all belong to Dick Wolf. Oh if they were mine.....*sigh* LOL**

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Elliot flinched when his usually good-tempered partner slammed a stack of files onto her desk. He was about to ask what was going on with her today when he saw her eyes, the usual softness in her chocolate-brown eyes were abducted by whatever was between crazy and anger. He thanked every saint he could think of while he slowly itched out of his seat and made his way towards the guys' desks.

"What's going on with you today, man?" Fin asked as he watched Elliot practically crawl his way over, "You trainin' for combat or somethin'?"

Elliot placed his finger over his lips in the international "shut up" gesture while he nervously looked over his shoulder.

"Shh! Do you _want_ to keep your balls?" Elliot said through gritted teeth. He pulled up a spare chair from the empty desk behind Munch's, "Lemme stay here for the day."

Fin cocked a brow, obviously waiting for an explanation. Elliot didn't even have to shift his gaze to know that Munch, too, was mirroring his partner's expression.

He let out a frustrated sigh, "How many cups of coffee has Olivia had today?"

"It's already 10, so I'm guessing two?"

Elliot shook his head, "Not even one drop all morning."

"So?"

Elliot stared at Fin, "Do you not remember when Liv doesn't drink coffee?"

He watched as Fin and Munch take in the news, they were detectives but could be like Twinkle-Dee and Twinkle-Doo at times.

"Oh. OH." Thank God for Munch remembering, Elliot thought, the squad would now be less of one bloody murder.

Fin stared at his partner, "Of course you would know," he grumbled, "now is anyone gonna be kind enough to let me into the loop?"

Munch slid his chair besides Elliot and patted his shoulder.

"You have my blessings, Stabler."

"Thanks Munch, it means a lot." Elliot replied solemnly.

" 'Ello, people," Fin grumbled, waving his hand in front of the pair that were betraying him with every word they were exchanging, "you still got a man out here in the dark."

Elliot casted Munch a look, and as smart a man he was, he took the sign and decided to help the poor man out.

"Science has us believe that there's a few days in a month when a woman's hormones is let out on a rampage and therefore has the privilege to let their emotions get the best of them. But we all know that it's an excuse for men when it comes to proving their masculinity," Munch explained.

"You couldn't have just said that Liv's PMS-ing?" Fin groaned, he turned to Elliot, "and you had to let him explain?"

Elliot shrugged, "Saves me from going through the terror again."

"Stabler!"

Elliot visually flinched when he heard his partner barked his name. Oh the things she was doing to scrape off his masculinity one layer at a time…

"Did you not learn how to write in first grade? Even Eli draws better worms than your scribbles!" Olivia growled as she slammed his reports in front of him.

"I think I'm going to get some more coffee…" Munch quickly said as he made his escape.

"Yeah, I have to, uh, help…" Fin stumbled over his words as he followed in his partner's steps.

Elliot casted dirty glances at their back. So much for 'for better or for worse', he turned his attention back to his partner. The best way to deal with an irrational/furious Olivia? Answer to her beck and call. It was also the only way to keep his balls, or more extreme, his life. He didn't like to gamble with the odds under these circumstances.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, trying to minimize the destruction, "I'll type them up as soon as possible."

"As soon as possible?" Olivia spat, "It's due today and I need your notes to finish. It's not like you're going to type up the DD5 for me."

"How about this, I'll type up the DD5 and to top that," Elliot smiled sweetly as he slid the chair back to his desk, "I'll share my secret stash with you." He opened his top drawer and pulled out a huge chocolate bar. He made a mental note to thanks Lizzie for giving him the heads-up after he grumbled about his last encounter with the storm of rage.

Olivia's eyes narrowed, "What are you trying to pull, Stabler?"

_Calm down, Stabler. She can't kill you for offering her chocolate. _"Nothing. Can't a guy just be nice to his partner?"

She glared at him before snatching the bar of yummy, "There's always an ulterior motive." Olivia shot back, stubbornly.

_Does wanting to stay alive count? _Elliot thanked God he wasn't that poor piece of chocolate who was now being decapitated (if you could say that about chocolate) and chomped to pieces. He eyed his partner warily as she continued to attack the report papers with her pen.

Olivia looked up and caught Elliot staring.

"What?" Olivia said through a mouthful of chocolate.

"Nothing." Elliot replied, quickly dropping his gaze back to the DD5 he just promised he'd take care of. The one good thing about all this was Olivia's PMS-spam was only for a day. Just a few more hours before he could go home and confirm he could live for another month. And judging by the way her anger had declined since the chocolate bar, the amount of sugar stashed in his drawer practically guaranteed his way out. He shook his head, girls and chocolate. He could only guess they were a girl's football.

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**What do you guys think? I'd love to hear from you, it's going to be a stress relief from school and maybe be a motive for me to update "Change In Me" or other stories sooner. ;)**

**Have a nice one! **


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